Wake Up! (Another Call Brought to You by Xanax and Mom)

Just got a call from my pill’d up mom:

Me:  Hello?

Mom: What.

Me: What do you mean “what”?

Mom: I don’t know.

Me: Hey, can you call me back on my desk phone?

Mom:  What did I call?

Me:  You called my cell phone.

Mom: Oh. Well….what’s your desk number? (Inevitably, she calls my co-worker, Rick, and he has to transfer her to me – and she greets me with “That nice man answered your phone again.!”)

Me:  Nevermind.  I’ll just call YOU back from my desk phone.  What’s your home phone number so I can write it down?

Mom:  718

Me: and?

Mom: And what?

Me:  718-what…

Mom: 718-2862

Me:  I don’t know your area code.  What’s your area code?

Mom:  Area code? 718

Me: No, mom.  Your area code!  It’s 956, isnt’ it?

Mom: No, it’s 972.

Me: Mom, that’s my area code.

Mom: How should I know?  You should know your own area code. 

Me: Nevermind.  I’ll get it from my cellphone when I hang up.  I’ll call you right back from my desk phone.

(called Mom back and had very few psycho-babble moments before ending the call)

5 minutes later, Mom called me on my desk phone number –

Me:  This is Kimber.

Mom: Which one do you want?

Me: What are you talking about?

Mom: Area code?

Me: Mom, I already found your area code — that’s how I called you back earlier.

Mom:  Zip code, then — 7…

Me: Mom! – It was the area code and I already found it. Remember I already called you back?

Mom: Oh.  Ok.  Well, call me back if you need anything else.

Note:  I hope she’s on good meds.  I wish she would give me some…

 

Xanax and Mom, An Auto-Signature Fail

My  pill’d up mom got a new cell phone yesterday.  (OH gawd no…)

Between the hours of 2-630am I received 17 blank texts from her on which she was apparently practicing changing her auto-signature.  It was “Nana” for the first few, then “Linda” on the next several, and then finally, just in case there was any confusion, she decided on “Nana- Linda.” (Yep. That’s a hyphen there.)

I haven’t responded. I don’t know anybody with a hyphen.

Update — 27-Jan-2011:  I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that as of TODAY,  Mom’s auto-signature reads:  “<NANA   LINDA    MOM>”